When I thought that I fought this war alone
by Lotus-Curse
Summary: After hearing the song 'War' by Poets of the Fall, I had a big urge to write something and this came out.


**When I thought that I fought this war alone, You were there by my side on the frontline**

_**One Shot Song Fic- War**_

Song: War by Poets of the Fall

Song not mine nor DGrayman

ooc: I dont know why I wrote this, but I cant stop listening to this song, and the idea for the fic popped into my head. Please while listening to the song! .com/watch?v=QUTOyuAeDss

I sighed, tired…weak, bloody…I closed my eyes as I felt cold drops of the rain falling as I faced up at the darken skies; I then slowly opened my cerulean eyes before turning to continue my path. I felt my body scream in pain as I limped my way from one battle to another, I held Mugen tightly, my knuckles white and my hands shaken, my white blade dripping crimson as the battle continued on around me. I had to finish this, I had too…I will not let them sent you here, not when I still had breath in my lungs, blood in my veins. Those bastards will not send you to your death…I will give my own in order to keep you safe, from harm's way.

I jumped out of the way as several akumas started shooting, I dodge easily despite my body battered and broken; I sent my insects to take care a few while I jumped and lunged at the rest, slicing them with ease until each one fell and exploded, ridden of the filth as I then ran (with difficulty) towards my next targets.

As I fought, I thought about you…how much you had changed my life; how I thought about your silver eyes bright with kindness, your smile that was my light, my beacon, your unique scent that there were no words to explain other than it helped me go through the difficulties of this goddamn war…you are my reason why I try to continue this war. I picture you by my side on the frontline, not thinking that I was alone fighting for the Vatican.

A memory came into mind as I felt more injuries on me, but I didn't care…I will finish this, I never lose…Never.

_-Do you remember standing on a broken field_

_White crippled wings beating the sky_

_The harbingers of war with their nature revealed _

_And our chances flowing by_

_If I can let the memory heal I will remember you with me on that field _

_When I thought that I fought this war alone _

_You were there by my side on the frontline _

_When I thought that I fought without a cause _

_You gave me a reason to try- _

We were in a field as he just finished eliminating several akumas, dangerous ones at that since one of the Noahs was there…but unfortunately he escaped. Fucking curly haired bastard.

I turned to you and I saw you almost out of breath, your eyes looking up; tears fell, a small sad smile were on your lips, I assumed it was because you could see the souls that were trapped in those things, you can see that they were saved because of what we do. But I think you deserve of their gratefulness, you cared about them, you did what you did in order to save them…you are a savior despite being a soldier of war…a killing machine.

I, on the other hand, that was what I was…I don't care about the akumas, never did since all I saw was what they did, I never gave a thought about what they were but as I watched you, those emotions shining in your eyes, I see that you fought to believe that this will end…that you will save everyone. Save the world.

Foolish moyashi, you are just a child. You cant save everyone, I know you want to…to make a better world for those that you hold dear. But no matter how much I tell you, you look into my eyes…still seeing those tears that made my chest hurt, you smile at me…it was small, it was sad…but it held so much what you felt.

"Like I told you before on our first mission…I may be a destroyer, but I want…I will be a savior…if we don't, Kanda…then…we are no more than just what the Vatican wants us to be. We are in a war, yes…I know…but…"

You then looked away from me, seeing so much devastation for such young eyes to see but you continue as you slowly fall onto your knees, I quickly catch you before you whisper…

"I want my future without war…I want to be happy…with you and...the others."

My eyes soften as you slowly closed your eyes, finally exhaustion taking over your mind and body before I gently carried you back to the Order. Soon I found out as you rested in your bed, I just happened to pass by the supervisor's office as I heard them talk. My blood boiled as I heard that Levierre, ordering Komui to send you to Edo on your own. I heard Komui refusing until he backed down when the bastard said that he will send Lenalee if he didn't.

I sighed and closed my eyes as I then opened them, hearing elder Lee regrettably agreeing to let you go. I then turned to meet you at the infirmary, you were still unconscious, still bandaged over your head, your arms, had a few broken bones.

I took a seat as I always did when I was with you, I never left your side unless I absolutely needed to, I gently held your hand, it was so small, soft…pale…my hand looked so large as I curled it around yours. As I watched you rest, I thought about that dangerous mission…the one that /they/ want you to go…I know if you went…I had a sickening feeling that I would never see you again.

So I made a decision, I will do this for you; I know you might hate me for doing it…I know you will mourn and you will cry despite my promise to never made you shed any tears but I needed to do this. I needed to save you.

I watched you sleep peacefully even though you were with machines attached to your body, IVs into your arms and bandages over your many injuries. I lifted your small hand and kissed it, it was the same one you used to save others, to rescue those misfortune souls. Now it was my turn to be the destroyer that saves. I will save you.

After convincing Komui to let me go, it took some effort to let him hear me but he consented despite seeing sorrow, sadness in his eyes…I know that he and everyone else will hate me for this but…eventually they all will understand.

Will you, moyashi?

I left my golem with you, I had left a message in it so when you wake up…you will hear and see me, and you will know what I did, why I did it…because three little words had changed my life

_-Turn the page I need to see something new _

_For now my innocence is torn _

_We cannot linger on this stunted view _

_Like rabid dogs of war_

_I will let the memory heal _

_I will remember you with me on that field _

_When I thought that I fought this war alone _

_You were there by my side on the frontline_

_And we fought to believe the impossible _

_When I thought that I fought this war alone _

_We were one with our destinies entwined _

_When I thought that I fought without a cause _

_You gave me the reason why— _

That was why I am here, fighting in your steed as I raised my blade, killing over and over…not stopping even when I am injured. I felt hot tears falling down my eyes as I continued to do what I did best. I didn't want you to be like me, to do this…to feel like what I feel when I am in battle.

You are still so young, so innocent that I cannot let this continue. I will save you…just like how you would save those innocent souls from their traps.

I wince in pain as I feel Tyki's arm go through my body, I cough up blood as I felt him puncture something inside, it hurt…it hurt so much but I refused to show it to that bastard; it may have hurt me but I know that it wouldn't hurt more if it was you here instead of me…

I growled at him and shove Mugen up his chest, my eyes narrowing as his own golden ones widen in shock before I twisted it before pushing it harder into his heart. I smirked as I heard him scream in pain before slowly letting me go.

_-With no-one wearing their real face _

_It's a whiteout of emotion _

_And I've only got my brittle bones to break the fall_

_When the love in letters fade _

_It's like moving in slow motion _

_And we're already too late if we arrive at all _

_And then we're caught up in the arms race _

_An involuntary addiction _

_And we're shedding every value our mothers taught _

_So will you please show me your real face _

_Draw the line in the horizon _

_Cos I only need your name to call the reasons why I fought—_

As he fell I remained standing, I felt my body weak…everything around me was dead, just like I wanted it…I will die a soldier, that was what I wanted…but it was not only that, it was my honor to sacrifice myself in order to protect you…even if it were just a little while longer. I take a small breath, choking and coughing out blood as I slowly dropped onto my knees. I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering you…remembering what you gave me, you gave me hope, and you gave me warmth that my cold existence needed and you gave me…love.

"A…llen…"

I whisper your name as I then fell onto the cold, wet ground. As I laid there, waiting for my end, I was not scared, I was not afraid…you were there in my mind, my heart…I was in this war, I thought I was fighting alone, for no cause…but you were there by my side, not physically but you were there.

I was content with my life, short as it was…I don't regret anything other than leaving this world without seeing you wake up from the darkness you were at...but I know you were strong, you will survive this…

I then whispered my last words as I slowly closed my eyes and breathed my last breath.

"I…"

"…..love…"

"…you…."

_-When I thought that I fought this war alone _

_You were there by my side on the frontline _

_And we fought to believe the impossible _

_When I thought that I fought this war alone_

_We were one with our destinies entwined _

_When I thought that I fought without a cause _

_You gave me the reason why—_


End file.
